Dating Tips ... "What to Do" and "What Not to Do"by Karen Nemet on 04/03/12
After years of hearing date feedback, I just have to share ....
- Be on time! This is so important. It is uncomfortable for anyone to sit and wait for someone, especially a first date.
- Keep it light and fun on the first few dates.
- Be polite and kind, regardless of chemistry.
- Ask lots of good questions to find out more about them. What do they do in their free time, do they like to travel, what are their hobbies …
- Be sure there is a good back and forth in conversation. If you find you are doing most of the talking, pause and ask more good questions.
- Don’t be too quick to judge. Sometimes it takes a few dates to get a good sense of someone.
- Remember the purpose of a first date is to see if you want a second one. If you do, make plans, exchange numbers etc.
- Keep your expectations in check and don’t be over invested in the outcome. Remember, you are not going to click with everyone and it isn’t realistic to think you will.
- Pay attention to body language. Smile, make eye contact and show off your flirty side
- Dress in something that makes you feel fabulous. Women no turtlenecks and men no running shoes. (**note to all ** running shoes are for running and have no business being on a lunch, drink or dinner date) A good first date outfit is upscale casual. Clean pressed jeans are great if paired with heels and a blouse for women or great shoes and a buttoned shirt for men.
- Most of all HAVE FUN!! Even if your date is not a match, enjoy yourself and contribute to the date! Who knows? They may know someone who is great for you, they may be a good networking contact, a tennis partner or theatre buddy. It is always a shame to not enjoy every situation you find yourself in.
- Talk on your cell phone, text or check messages while you are on a date. It is rude and unacceptable.
- Talk about exes, past dates, or the dating service. While I understand that it is the one thing you know you have in common, it is one of the biggest complaints we get. Your date doesn’t want to hear about former dates or partners; the focus should be on them. Even if they bring it up, politely move on as it will come back to bite you!
- Talk about politics, religion or things that may get heated before you know someone’s communication style. These things are best left to date 3 and beyond
- Don’t over analyze everything. It takes time to get to know someone and how they think or who they are. Keep an open mind and give them (and their statements) the benefit of the doubt.
- Drink too much .. 1 or 2 tops (We are the only ones who think we are charming when we have one too many)
MY VIEW ON “THE BILL”
It may be controversial here with some, but after speaking to so many women I have a good handle on how they think!
If you want a second date, gentlemen, pay the bill! When the bill arrives, immediately and discreetly move it to your side of the table. DO NOT let it sit in the middle of the table. It makes for an awkward end to the date. If she offers to pay half, don’t cave. (Sorry, she will still judge you .. Uh huh ! … it seems complicated but just trust us here)
If she insists, then fine … but that is the only time you let her take out her wallet.
For right or wrong, this is one of those things that isn’t going to change anytime soon. The good news is that generally speaking, women are (by nature) very giving and a good relationship will find a beautiful balance of give and take. Take care of her and she will take care of you tenfold!
Again, have fun and enjoy yourself. As long as you are realistic, the right person WILL come along so enjoy this journey!!I am available for dating coaching. We can work on confidence, conversation skills, wardrobe and styling and how to get clear on what you are REALLY looking for. For more information contact me at email@example.com